100 Lives With Autism
By Zachary Pang
Socially awkward, intellectually incapable, and stubborn. These are words that pop up in the brains of millions of people when someone mentions “Autism.” In a world driven by prejudice and oversimplification, Autism has been mischaracterized as a mental illness.
I believe Autism is something different. Autism is an integral part of who I am and has shaped my perspectives and experiences in profound ways. If I were to live 100 different lives, I would choose to have Autism every single time. I am forever grateful for how Autism has fostered skills and viewpoints that have made me the unique individual I am today.
But I wasn’t always grateful for it.
In kindergarten, I threw tantrums frequently when I felt activities were not organized in a certain way I desired. When I felt sadness or guilt, I resorted to anger. During playtime, I remember punching Ethan when he took the rubber Tyrannosaurus Rex that I played with every day. Like many autistic kids, whenever my teacher was talking to me, I looked at the floor since I couldn’t bear looking into her eyes. Whenever I developed an opinion, I would communicate it directly, without a filter and without thinking about how others may feel. “Why are you so fat, Mrs. Kesler?” I didn’t understand why she scolded me afterwards. I had no interest in completing tasks that didn’t appeal to me, which typically meant everything except dinosaurs. My fascination with dinosaurs became an all-consuming passion–I developed an encyclopedic knowledge of all names and characteristics of sauropods, theropods, and even ornithopods.
I could see that I was visibly very different from my classmates, yet I couldn’t figure out why. Eventually, when he started hearing reports about my behavior from my teachers, my father decided to take me to a clinic to try to find answers. Near the end of kindergarten, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, which is on the spectrum of autism.
Not surprisingly, I didn’t understand what Asperger’s was at the time. When I started receiving behavioral and speech therapy in first grade, I was confused about why I needed to attend these sessions. My dad explained that, because of my Asperger's, I had difficulty with social interactions, attention span, and managing my emotions. This was when it became apparent to me that Asperger’s wasn’t considered a good thing to have. He told me the therapy would help improve my performance and behavior in school. However, I didn't see much change in either for two long years.
By third grade, I was frustrated and ashamed of my differences and felt very alone amongst my classmates. Not only did I lack the ability to socialize, but I was unable to complete any homework that was not 100 percent associated with dinosaurs (which meant most assignments). I abhorred humanities subjects and their inherent subjectivity and varied interpretations. My frustration grew exponentially to the point where, one day, I asked my therapist why I had to be born with Asperger's and be "worse" than everyone else. She told me that Asperger’s did not make me worse–instead it made me different. However, in elementary school, different doesn’t always feel like a positive.
She told me that Asperger’s was not a challenge I had to overcome, rather it was a central part of my identity that amplified my strengths into different areas. She explained that kids with Asperger's Syndrome have exceptional memories and high performing traits, such as focusing intensely on their interests, excelling in STEM fields, but struggle in other areas like socializing. She pointed out how I could understand algebra and dinosaurs to a far greater depth than many of her other students and offered hope for my future that many successful entrepreneurs (including Elon Musk) have Asperger’s as well.
My therapist had transformed what I had originally seen as a curse into an advantage. She influenced me to believe that having different qualities than my classmates made me special, not incapable. She said that I should have gratitude instead of resentment for having Asperger’s.
Armed with a new perspective on autism, I began to tackle my weaknesses. As I practiced the techniques my therapist taught me when expressing emotions and talking to others, I found myself laughing more easily with classmates. I willingly (and appropriately) shared my opinions during group projects, and even initiated plans for weekend hangouts. I evolved from a solitary student who only cared for discussing dinosaurs to a confident participant who actively engages in class. I improved my social skills and emotional expression, and developed a more relaxed personality that has allowed me to build meaningful friendships that have enriched my life.
By high school, it was evident that my autistic traits such as strong analytical skills, exceptional memory, and deep passion for topics that interest me became powerful assets in my academic journey. For the Varsity Math Team, I immersed myself in memorizing concepts like conic functions, logarithms and coordinate plane geometry. I found myself fascinated by the topics we uncovered in AP Chemistry such as kinetics, equilibrium, acids and bases, and especially thermodynamics. I dedicated hours to develop an aluminum foil insulator for the egg cooking lab during our thermodynamics unit. By sophomore year, I took the US National Chemistry Olympiad entrance exam and received the Excellence Award in AP Chemistry and Algebra II/Trigonometry Honors. My “differences” were finally paying off.
Now, as I pursue the USNCO online Organic Chemistry course this summer, I realize how crucial my therapist’s support and perspective was in transforming my self-perception. With the increasing rate of Autism in the US, it’s essential for adults to provide proper support for autistic children and frame autism as a positive attribute rather than a limitation.
In the year 2000, approximately 1 in 150 kids had autism, whereas today the rate has increased fivefold to 1 in 31. Society needs to shift its perspective on individuals with autism by recognizing them as individuals with diverse strengths who require tailored support to thrive. Individuals with autism possess extraordinary talents and abilities that can reshape our world. Their unique perspectives, unwavering focus, and ability to see patterns where others see chaos enable them to push boundaries in many different fields. In embracing autism, we unlock a wellspring of creativity, insight, and innovation that has the power to propel humanity forward in ways we've yet to imagine.
As I head into my junior year of high school, I will continue to post on this blog to share my story and to create a community that, together, gains a greater understanding of the complex nature of autism.
Work Cited
HHS Press Office. “'Autism Epidemic Runs Rampant,' New Data Shows 1 in 31 Children Afflicted.” HHS.gov, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 15 April 2025, https://www.hhs.gov/press-room/autism-epidemic-runs-rampant-new-data-shows-grants.html. Accessed 4 May 2025.
